Dear Amy,
I am sick of the way guy's act when they find out I'm a virgin. Either they become afraid of me, like I'm some China doll
or they see me as something the need to conquer. It's getting old. I'm in college now and have a new boyfriend who seems
to not care one way or the other about my virginity. He does not pressure me to go to far and yet he goes just far enough
to make me want more. This is a first for me too. Usually I get up tight but with him I seem to be getting more and more
relaxed. So I'm thinking he might be "the one" and now I'm not sure how to tell him. I don't want to scare him by saying
you're the one. I mean, not for life, I'm only 20. Do I just say, don't stop, when the urge hits? Or do I have to talk
about it? This is freaking me out and I cannot talk to my friends, they already think I'm nuts for even being a virgin
and I don't want them to laugh at me or god forbid rumors get started.
Ready to Explode - Sioux Fall
Amy Says!
Dear Ready to Explode in Sioux Falls,
It's wonderful to hear young women like yourself are taking their sexual encounters seriously. Especially, the first time. It
should be a special memory in your life, unlike so many that say; it just happened, no big deal. Taking control of your first
experience is an achievement in itself really.
You sound mature enough, so no boring you with the hymen and the need of condoms. My best advice is to trust your intuition and
yes, talk about your fears with your boyfriend. The conversation required might be how experienced or inexperience your boyfriend
is and how comfortable are you with your boyfriend? Let me clarify 'comfortable' by sharing some advice I once received. If you
can not talk about sex with your boyfriend then you have no business having sex with him. And, if you are not comfortable enough
to place a condom on an aroused penis, then again not ready to have sex.
Now that having been said, try to relax a little. It sounds like you've made up your mind about the who, now you need to consider
the when and where. Think about what you might expect from your first experience. Are you a romantic; plan a nice fantasy evening.
Are you more the adventurous type; skinny dipping may help carry things to the next level, with out to much conversation.
Be creative and make sure there will be no interruptions.
Turn off the cell phones and make sure you have all the privacy you need. Trust your intuition and talk about your fears with your
boyfriend. Decide the environment that you will be most comfortable in and... let nature take it's course ;)
Amy Case
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