Lots of couples have perfectly lovely sexual encounters without ever introducing a sex toy into the mix. But to me, that's kind of like eating a good dinner without ever moving on to dessert. Sex toys complement sex by extending one's palette beyond its usual range. On top of that, they're terribly seductive--anticipating an orgasm delivered by a remote control vibrator awakens the senses as surely as a piece of chocolate truffle cake.

If you think I'm a sex freak and a food junkie, let me assure you that for fifteen years I've talked to thousands of men and women about sex toys. I continue to encounter two pretty tenacious myths about couples and sex toys. The first is that sex toys are fine when you're single, but should be quietly shelved once you become partnered. The second is that sex toys are only acceptable for couple's play when they're prescribed as "marital aids," in other words, to fix something that's broken.

But just like kids' toys, sex toys exist for the sole purpose of adding a little fun to your sexual repertoire. Couples who share toys open up whole new vistas of pleasure--they can experiment, tease each other, and explore new heights of sexual satisfaction. If you're tempted by the idea of toys-for-two, here are a few styles worth trying:
Vibrators Built for Two
These vibrators are made especially for couples to use together:

  • The penis ring/clitoral vibrator is a super-stretchy cock ring that slides over a man's penis. Attached to the ring is a clitoral vibrator, you wear it on top of the penis so that it vibrates against the woman's clitoris during vaginal intercourse. The tiny microchip powering the toy provides plenty of buzz for both parties. Check out the Lush Bunny.

  • If you seek more of a high-tech thrill, check out the strap on vibrators for her, several models are powered remotely After slipping on the g-string or panty, the woman awaits clitoral vibration, which is activated via a remote control operated by her partner. These toys are especially great for couples seeking a semi-public thrill, for those who like to relinquish (or assume) control, or anyone who relishes the thrill of anticipation. Check out the Remote Butterfly.
Toys to Take You Over the Top
Most women need extra clitoral stimulation to reach orgasm during intercourse. These toys are designed to do all the work, so you both can relax and enjoy the ride.

  • The Fukuoku finger vibe slips snugly over a fingertip, taking finger stimulation to a whole new level! During partner sex, either partner can wear the Fukuoku to stimulate the clitoris, or couples who love mutual masturbation can each don this finger vibe and swap hand jobs.

  • For hands-free pleasure during penetration, a woman can strap on a tiny-but-mighty thongs-style vibe. By sliding the rear strap to the side, she'll enjoy plenty of access along with powerful clitoral vibrations. Check out the Flutter Bug.

  • It's hard to go wrong with the classic electric vibrator, The Hitachi Magic Wand. Thanks to its foot long arm and tennis-ball-sized head, the Hitachi provides maximum reach and powerful vibrations in a variety of positions. A woman can lay on top of it during rear entry or hold it firmly in place in the missionary position. The buzz is so powerful he'll feel the vibrations on his penis when he's inside. Plus it's great for full body massage whenever the mood strikes.
A Walk on the Wild Side
Whether you're experimenting with role-play, exploring new sexual terrain, or feeding your erotic imagination, these toys encourage couples to move beyond the limited definition of sex as penis/vagina intercourse.

  • Women who've always fantasized about having a penis, or couples interested in anal play can get started easily with a harness and dildo combination. The video Bend Over Boyfriend offers detailed instructions on mastering strap on sex.

  • Harness

  • Bobbi Sue dildo

  • Bend over Boyfriend

  • For the couple intrigued by power play, fur-lined bonds and a blindfold make a nice introduction.

  • When you're short on ideas, or simply need a little permission to try something new, introduce a board game Romantic Rendezvous, which focuses on role-play, sensual touching and explicit communication. When you could use some scripting and props for your role play, pick up the a book of erotica or fantasies, and re-enact some of the sexy scenarios.

  • Spend the evening giving -- and receiving -- a relaxing massage. Indulge all of your senses with some aromatic massage oil.
Essentials
Be well prepared for any sexual encounter by keeping these items handy:

  • Lubricant guarantees sex will go smoothly. There's nothing wrong with supplementing what mother nature provides, and this way the sex can last as long as you like.

  • Nothing says you care quite like the gift of sexual health--so keep a stash of condoms around.
Enjoy!
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Anne Semans is the co-author of The Good Vibrations Guide to Sex
copyright 2003. Anne Semans

Artwork: "Can Can Girl" Artist Unkown, France 1920's
Available at World Art Erotica