Dear Ask A Man,

I recently got a promotion at work and received a nice pay increase, along with more responsibility. Now I seem to be attracting less men. I can't tell if it's my authority level or pay scale that have affected my friends but they seem to be treating me differently. When we go out clubbing after work, get remarks like, I'll be your stay at home manwife, let her pay she brings home the big bucks... Do men really care if women make more money than then they do or if her career is more advanced than his? ~ Just Wondering - NY



Dear Just Wondering,

Men are a funny species. We say we accept women as equals, yet we still want to be the dominant one. It's been programmed into our DNA to be the hunters, gatherers and providers. It's very difficult to deny this very trait. Men want to be in control, they want to be the protectors, the providers, the ones that ultimately save the day. When the roles are reversed it's very hard for a guy to accept that a woman is now the one who provides or protects in the relationship. Whether it's actually happening or just perceived. There are some men out there that really don't have a problem with the woman making more money or having a more advanced career, but they are few and far between.
Craig, 20 Something...

Hello,

I hope that you are not going along with your friends when they, in my opinion, are "guilting" you into paying for their good time. If they were truly your friends they would either not do this at all or stop doing it once you tell them how things like their "manwife" comment bothers you. You also ask if men care if a women makes more then they do. I think that some might but not all. People who judge you based on how much you make are probably not worth having in your life.
Scott, 30 Something...


Hi,

You'd be surprised how much of a sore point this is for some men in the "baby boomer" generation, particularly ones with conservative traditional family values. What we were taught as youths in the 1950's and 60's is that men are expected to be the "bread winners", and during that time, it was somewhat rare that married women worked at all, but rather stayed at home to raise the children and manage the household. Certainly, all of this changed during the "Generation X" years, but don't be surprised that a good number of men of all ages have this as an ingrained belief. Probably best just to ignore the men that are making these comments and focus on the more open minded ones.
Jack, 40 Something...
Hi Wondering,

I do think it's an ego problem. Historically men have been the bread winners, we're brought up being told that we need to take care of you. You know the story. As long as you don't rub it into a potential dates face, you should be fine. As for your friends, I would be asking myself, are they really my friends?
Alfred, 50 Something...



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