Dear Ask A Man,

I just found a bunch of transsexual porn on my computer that my boyfriend has downloaded. we've talked openly about this before... like if he has any bisexual tendencies or not... and he always denies it. We have been living together for 2 years and have a very healthy sex life... can you please give me your point of view on this?? Thank You! ~ Sincerely, Heartbroken In Seattle.



Dear Heartbroken,

There has got to be a reason why he enjoys looking at transsexual porn. You shouldn't press the issue but if you find the right situation, where he isn't defensive and is open to discuss it, you should really find out. Let him know you aren't judging him, that you want him to be happy with you and for the both of you to be completely honest with each other. Remember, be honest with yourself, don't ask the question if you don't want to hear the answer.
Craig, 20 Something...

Hi Heartbroken,

Being a transsexual does not have anything to do with what gender you are attracted to; it has to do with what gender you identify yourself as. It can all get very complicated: a transsexual may identify himself as a woman but still find himself attracted to women, or it just might be that he likes to wear women’s clothes, which would make him a transvestite. I think your best bet would be to just ask your boyfriend why he is looking at these web sites and let him answer for himself. Don't assume his interest in transsexual porn makes him bisexual. This might make him feel cornered, and that you may have already decided for yourself why he is looking at them.
Scott, 30 Something...


Hi,

My guess is that if he denies it, it comes from being embarrassed about it. Most men have some sort of "kink" gene for specific things, be it large breasts, feet, butts, etc. And, of course this goes to say that some men also are bi-curious, or get a kick out of tranny porn. My advice is, that if you have a healthy sex life and a good relationship, turn a blind eye to this if it is not a detriment to your relationship.
Jack, 40 Something...

Hi Heartbroken,

Cheer up! It's called a fetish and we all have them. Granted some are more traditional then others, such as high heeled shoes, but if your sex life is good, I wouldn't worry about it. Just drop it, chalk it up to him being just curious and let it be.
Alfred, 50 Something...



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