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| Dear Ask A Man, I really love this guy that I've been with for 9 months, he says he loves me, but the sex is AWFUL. All my friends have told me to teach him. How do I do that without letting on that he is useless in bed. I don't really want to hurt his feelings. Help! ~ Susanna, Canada |
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Dear Susanna, You have to talk to him about it. Just sit down and talk about what you like, and be honest. He should be able to tell you what he likes. Don't make the conversation about "what he is doing wrong", make it about what you want him to do to you, and what he want's you to do to him. If it's a mutually gratifying thing, you both should be happy in the end. If you love him and he loves you, the both of you should be able to work at it and eventually your sex life will become incredible. |
Hi Susanna, I would not let on to him that you think that he is awful in bed and that he is in need of some lessons. Don't tell him what is wrong with what he is doing; instead, try telling him what you like. Try giving him little tips during the moment: "I like it when you move this way" or "That feels good." After a while he will pick up on what you like. By making it seem like you're just giving him little tips on what turns you on, his feeling should not get hurt the way they would if you just came out and told him that you think the sex is awful. Scott, 30 Something... |
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The other thing, if you are feeling bold" is to order some sex toys to get him to try out on you. Most guys LOVE gadgets and this might bring him up a level in creativity and passion! |
Hi Susanna, Be very careful a males pride wounds easily, especially in bed. I do agree you need to teach him, but it's the technique used to teach the lesson that will dictate if your relationship will survive. For example, try taking his hand and putting it in an area that you enjoy being touch, follow that up with "that feels so good, I love it when you touch me there", don't say "touch me here ". Hopefully he will get the message and be a willing and eager student. |
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