Dear Ask A Man,
I am in the beginning of a new relationship. I am not sure how to tell this guy that I like anal sex. What is the best way to approach the subject? During sex or just during a conversation? What words do I use? I know he will be open to the subject I just don't have a clue what to say.

Submitted by Anon



Dear Anon,

First off being able to discuss sex with your partner is very important. These discussions will enable the both of you to explore and experiment with each other and ultimately discover what each of you likes and dislikes. If your partner is open to talking about these things, then this is the time you should bring it up. Sex for the most part is all about the pleasuring of each other. By trying new things and finding out what actually is pleasurable, you will both be able to fully enjoy the experience. I would just be honest with him. But make sure that you bring up the subject at the right time. I wouldn't wait for half time during a football game and blurt out “Honey, I want it in the butt” that might just put him in a coma. Your discussions will help to put each other at ease and break down the wall of inhibitions that may have built up over time.
Craig, 20 Something...

Hi,

When you're driving in the car somewhere, say: "What do you think about Anal Sex?"  Based on his reaction, you'll know pretty quickly whether he's open to it.  If he seems put off, tell him you were kidding.  That way, its not during an intimate moment somewhere and you have an easy out.
Mark, 30 Something...


Hi,

And the problem here is what? The majority of women in the world HATE anal sex and spend a great deal of time drilling into their boyfriend's heads that the anus is an "exit only" zone!

Unless your boyfriend if Felix Unger and has some strong phobias, I wouldn't worry about this much. Just make a subtle invitation during the act of passion and see what happens. If he goes "ewe! yucko!", well, now you know. You can always backpeddle and say you were just carried away in the heat of passion!
Jack, 40 Something...

Hi,

If you?ve already had sex with him,  try talking about your sex with him,  then casually bring it up. Don't say it's something you enjoy, maybe you should say it's something you would like to try with him. If you say it's something you enjoy you might be opening up a CAN of worms...
Sssh Guest Panelist David, 40 Something...
Hello,

Arrange a situation where the topic comes up, e.g. while watching a porno, and just casually ask, "ever tried that?". Keep it light. Don't make it a big deal or you might scare someone.
Alfred, 50 Something...




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