First of all, you want to look at the types of scenarios you want to get involved in. For some couples, the idea of role-playing is about power and control. There is a whole huge subculture devoted to this world of sexual role-playing known as BDSM (bondage, domination, sadism, masochism) which we have covered in other articles, but for many couples they want to act out fantasies without getting into a lot of complicated activity. Some people are not comfortable with the idea of giving or receiving pain, or with being tied up or otherwise made vulnerable, and for them, a simpler form of role-playing is appropriate.

But even simple, theatrical-style role-playing (in which both people pretend to be someone they're not) tends to have some sort of power dynamic inherent. Some couples really like having a very clear distinction between who is in control and who is not; for some this is called domming and subbing (after the BDSM lingo), or topping and bottoming. Whatever you decide make sure both of you are comfortable with this power dynamic. Some couples will alternate roles to keep things equable and exciting; in this way, one partner will not feel compelled to always play the same type of role. You can switch during the same role-playing session, or alternate on different occasions.

It's best to have a conversation about all this before actually entering into role-playing activity. Some couples simply never have any discussion; one of them might try out role-playing types of talk during sex ("Ooh, was that naughty" or "You certainly deserve some sort of punishment for that young lady!") and then naturally gravitate towards role-playing scenarios. The problem here can be that the power-dynamic becomes entrenched from the beginning; just because you wanted to be the naughty co-ed that one time doesn't you wouldn't enjoy being the stern professor on some other occasion! So be sure to explore that idea with your partner, and say that you'd like to have the option to "turn the tables" sometimes.

Role-playing can be very elaborate, or very simple. You and your partner may enjoy using your imaginations to create scenarios and improvising dialogue. Some couples find that roleplaying comes more easily if they utilize props and costumes, and if they use certain locations to prompt them along. You don?t have to go to a fancy sex shop to buy toys and accessories, but if there is one available (or your favorite online source, like the one at Toys in Babeland) you may be able to get some great ideas. Some pre-fab costumes are available for people who don't want to make too much effort, but sometimes a store-bought "French maid" outfit, or cheesy cop outfit with cheap handcuffs feels a bit silly and like you just got a Hallowe?en costume at the discount store.

To really take your role-playing up a notch, be creative! The "usual" scenarios are stereotypes for a reason. How many times can you have the pizza delivery boy and college co-ed scene? Or the cop giving you a speeding ticket? But these can be fun if you use your imagination. Remember that all role-playing scenarios should involve relationships with either a clearly-defined power dynamic, or a clear relationship structure. Using costumes can also enhance the experience, but is not necessary. Focus instead on really playing your parts convincingly.

Using your home as the primary setting is fine, but you can take things to a more creative level by using other locations. Look at what's happening in your community and think of unusual places to start your scenario. Let's say the local carnival is in town. What if you are a gypsy fortune teller? And your partner is a sexy stranger who asks you for his fortune? You tell him a beautiful mysterious woman is in his near future, and then start seducing him with erotic talk about what she'll do to him...Maybe you go to the local farm stand and pretend to be the "farmer's daughter" who hasn?t seen a man in years and you want to show him your secret hayloft in the barn...Sometimes starting off your scenario with sexy talk in a public place can be a real turn-on, and it lets you anticipate what will happen when you get home.

Role-playing takes getting used to; not everyone can improvise as well as others, and like any new activity it may take a bit of practice. Try to stay in the moment, and whatever you do, don't laugh at anything your partner says or does if he is trying to get into his "role." But it's also important not to take things so seriously that you can't relax and start over (or give up for the night) if things don't quite work out.

Some recommended scenarios are listed below, old favorites and new twists. Don't be afraid to mix up the "usual" gender roles here:

Doctor/patient
Teacher/pupil
Boss/secretary
Slave-driver/slave
Conductor/fare evader
Pizza delivery-person/customer
Traffic cop/bad driver
Maitre d?/customer
Chef/assistant
Shoplifter/store detective
Fortuneteller/customer
Athlete/coach