Your Metrosexually-Challenged Man, or, How to Get Him to Stop Worrying and Love Grooming Products

No one can have failed to notice there's some sort of revolution going on. I am talking, of course, about the increasingly vast and confusing selection of men's grooming products available on the market now. I remember when there was shaving cream and athlete's foot powder and aerosol deodorant and that was it! My dad used Right Guard and Old Spice and Scope and Aqua Velva, just like every other guy. Sometimes a bottle of Canoe or English Leather. And once his hair started thinning he used good old Aqua Net to hold his comb-over in place. This is just what normal men did back then, unless they were millionaires who got their whiskers shaved and their hands manicured in a salon.

Nowadays personal care is seen as something people can talk about more freely and it's finally okay for men to want to look good and make some effort in that direction. I think it's an offshoot from the focus on weight and fitness, and also partly that gay men enjoy their grooming rituals and our culture's increasing comfort with the homosexual lifestyle naturally means we want to appropriate the best parts of it! Like clubbing, track lighting, miniature dogs, Broadway show tune albums, quiche and a well-made margarita. Everyone loves Will & Grace and Queer Eye for the Straight Guy.

But the idea of men using moisturizer, cleaning grains, hair pomade, and body lotion might still seem like a bit much to handle all at once. If your man is still reluctant to enter the 21st century world of wonderful grooming products, this article can help you know what's out there and help you select some products for him.

Washing--Hair and Body

Okay, hopefully your man is familiar with soap. But does he know soap has changed since he was a teenager? Using the harsh alkaline soaps of his youth (or, worse yet, deodorant soaps) can dry his skin and cause itching and irritation. Ivory soap, for all its vaunted purity, is absolutely horrible for the skin. But let him keep it by the sink for hand washing, it's great for that. In the shower, get him some nice all-natural soap (tip: try the ones made with olive oil!) that will help him smell great and get smooth skin. There are plenty of all-natural cosmetic companies that make great soaps men will love, like Crabtree & Evelyn, Kiehls, Burt's Bees, The Body Shop, or Lush. (They're all cruelty-free and against animal testing, too) All have mail order available on their websites. Your man might like Bohemian, a lemon-scented soap, or Ooh La La (lavender, rosemary and herbs), or Sea Vegetable (lavender and lime, and used by hunky Jude Law), or Extra Virgin Olive Oil, which contains special essential oils for toning skin (all from Lush).Crabtree & Evelyn makes a sandalwood soap that has been a best-seller for years; or try their Nomad fragrance line created for men (scented with ginger and bamboo). One benefit of olive oil or other vegetable oil soaps is that they leave the skin soft and help it retain moisture --in case your man is reluctant to try out a body lotion–but if he's not, the Body Shop has a whole line of body butters made just for men! Great for smoothing rough spots like elbows and feet and for dry skin anywhere.

Some men like shower gels. Many of the commercially-available ones are made with artificial scents or harsh detergents which can irritate delicate areas like the mucus membranes. There are many brands and scents available. Does he have a problem with acne on his back, or eczema on his arms? There are many products which can help problem skin that are not the least bit medicinal-smelling. Get him some Tea Tree Oil Body Cleanser from Kiehl's or Narcotick shower gel from Lush (this also has tea tree, and rosemary, which have antiseptic properties). Lush's Tramp shower gel smells woodsy and manly (women love it!), and the Slammer shower gel smells like a margarita. The Body Shop's Grapeseed line is also very nice for men.These can all be used as shampoo-if your guy is thrifty and practical he'll love that! All of these are great for soothing the scalp and keeping dandruff under control, too. (Head and Shoulders should hereafter be banned from your shower stall in favor of one of these gentler, better-smelling products). Kiehl's has an excellent line of shampoo and scalp products for just about any problem.The Body Shop has a wonderful line of hair products made with real hemp oil, which might make your man grin. Remember to select the right one for your man's hair type. If he uses any sort of styling aid he can find a wide variety of those, too, and all natural ingredients mean the products are lighter in weight and don't make hair look styled or stiff. Kiehl's Silk Groom is very popular. Lush's solid hair conditioner Jungle can work great as a pomade, and it smells incredible: green and grassy and tangy like citrus. Or your man might like their conditioner Coolaulin, inspired by the lustrous locks of manly Celtic warrior Cuchullain, it means "beautiful hair." The Body Shop has a good range of hair products made just for men, from their Hemp and Grapeseed lines.

Men don't like to admit they have problems, have you noticed this? (This is most certainly related to their inability to ask for directions when lost) So they may be embarrassed or apprehensive about something so personal as a pesky problem of the skin or scalp. So this is why men often count on their savvy female partners and lovers to help out with gifts of tasteful grooming products. Bonus: he'll look/feel/smell great, and be grateful to you!

Shaving

What man likes shaving? Hardly any of them. But then most of them do not do it properly. They rush through it, they don't use a sharp enough razor, they don't worry about destroying their skin. Do your man a favor and get him some old-fashioned shaving soap, with a brush and mug. Then he might get a clue that the way to prepare to shave is to do it after a long hot shower so the pores are opened and the whiskers are softened.Burt's Bees makes a wonderful line of Bay Rum shaving products. Crabtree & Evelyn's Nomad line includes a few shaving products and accessories. Lush has a shaving cream in a neroli scent called Prince. The Body Shop has a number of shave creams and after shave gels. And Kiehl's well-loved products also include some shaving preparations. When he has taken the time to shave properly, compliment him. Act like you can't stop touching his face. Crow about how much better the sex is. He'll never go back to that electric shaver again.

Face

Most men are happy to just lather their faces with whatever soap is in the shower and be done with it. That is why most men's faces could look much better. Women's skin is supposed to be soft and dewy and flawless, so in addition to hiding flaws with makeup we put a lot of thought and time and money into skin care until we find the right thing. Your man could do with a bit of help in this area. Introduce the concept gradually–don't just hand him a tube of sage-banana-cherry bark cleanser and expect him to use it. Most men think paying too much attention to their faces means they're I don't know, vain or girly or something. Hence the scrubbing with Zest and rubbing with a scratchy towel. But you can shift his attitude. If you're showering or bathing together, apply a cool gloppy clay mask to your face and just wait for him to ask if he can wear some, too. (It's like mud pies and finger painting all over again) Once he sees how much better his skin looks after that pore-tightening clay and herb mask does its thing, he might be more open to using other products.

The see if he'll try an exfoliating cleanser–again, lead by example. He might ask, "why use something like that?" and you can say, see how your face is way smoother right where you just shaved, but your forehead and nose are kinda flaky/oily/etc.? You can tell him that shaving exfoliates, and this cleanser will, too. He might still resist using anything but soap, in which case, get him a soap designed to be used on the face, like Coalface from Lush, made especially for breakout-prone skin. Plus it's black which your man will think is cool. The Body Shop makes a soap from Rhassoul mud (from Morocco) which is excellent for toning the skin.

Don't forget lip balm! Very important to make sure your guys lips stay kissable. Funnily enough, a lot of guys have lip balm addictions. But get him away from chapstick or those waxy ones that don't provide much moisture. If they gotta have their twisty-stick, then Burt's Bees lip balm tastes like peppermint and works great. The Body Shop's Hemp Lip Care Stick also gets the job done.

Once your man discovers he can look and feel great with just a bit of extra effort and with selecting the right products, he'll never go back to Zest again.

Also, look for our article on men and fragrance!

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