 |
|
|
| Some will emphatically
say, "Yes! That's cheating." Is it? The general, traditional consensus
would likely show that fantasizing, especially for a woman, is somehow (regardless
of the reasoning behind it) bad. What constitutes ‘cheating' varies
from person to person and from relationship to relationship. There are some
of us, albeit the minority, who explore open relationships and the various
forms of it. Of course this isn't for everyone, but why do so many of us
point our fingers at those brave enough to give it a try? The majority of
women will enter into a traditional male-female relationship and expect
to become a one-man woman. The flip side of this is we expect our man to
become a one-woman man. Of course, in this context and thought pattern,
fantasizing would never be considered a positive part of the relationship.
This article will primarily look at the idea of Fantasy from the perspective
of a strictly monogamous relationship (no looking, touching, or thinking
of anyone else). Why, you may ask? Because I feel that the issue is more
likely to arise in these types of relationships. Some may say that fantasizing is the first step in the wrong direction. First you look, and then you envision the other person in your mind. Maybe you will go so far as to think of this other man while masturbating, and if you are brave enough, maybe your thoughts will linger on this man while having sexual intercourse with your partner/husband. Your partner will certainly enjoy your ecstatic, frantic coupling, but it could plant the seed of suspicion in his mind. Most of us will never take our fantasy life this far, but what if we do? Are we suddenly a ‘bad girl'? Should we hang our heads in shame? Does this mean we are unfaithful to our partners, if only in mind? I think many of us will say yes, it is going too far. Perhaps it is, but I don't think so. Why should a woman berate herself for her sex drive and her inner thoughts? Having a healthy sex life is very important to most of us, but how many of us actually have one? |
A little fantasy can go a long way toward holding a relationship together. Let's face it, no matter how much we love our partners, we will always have that spark of curiosity inside. Fantasizing is a healthy way to explore our thoughts without taking careless actions that could damage our relationship forever. Men fantasize all the time, and although there are some who won't admit it (to their jealous partners, at least), there are many more men than women who will openly acknowledge that sexual fantasy is an important part of their lives. It is understandable why women don't like to talk about their sexuality, seeing as we are still living in an age where a man with more than one partner is called a ‘stud,' while a woman even considering taking on another partner—indeed, even fantasizing about having another partner—is that all time favorite ‘whore.' We have to move beyond these labels and learn to live and let live. Sadly, the women who are willing to talk openly about sexuality and their fantasies are blind-sided by the very people who should support their openness and honesty—other women! As long as women keep their feelings in the closet and decide to keep the peace in their traditional relationship by not rocking the boat, fantasy will retain its shady reputation and relationships will drift along in a fog. Before you decide that fantasy is bad and put it up on the ‘off-limits' shelf, stop and think, at least for a moment. What would happen if you let your thoughts run wild about that sexy guy standing in line in front of you? |
 |
| And then, instead of dismissing that fleeting thought, you went home and lingered over the mental images in your mind? You might focus in on whatever assets attracted you and turned you on, and then funnel all of the energy toward your partner when the time is right. There are few men willing to turn down an episode of mind-blowing sex. Maybe he will ask questions later, but I think you could easily get his mind back on you if you put your imagination, your fantasy, to work. It's really not so bad after all, now is it? |
| Copyright ©
2003 Sssh.Com and Dena L. Moore • All International Rights Reserved To send Dena your comments, please email her at dena@sssh.com or visit her websites at; http://denaspoetry.homestead.com and http://gaeascauldron.homestead.com |
| Return to Couples Menu |