Most parents are
eager to assist in this grand adventure of discovery, playing whimsical
“name the body part” games that ultimately help lead to a sense
of identity and commonality. Eyes, ears, nose, mouth, lips, fingers, hands,
feet… each precious inch of our wee bodies is cheerfully and lovingly
identified. But the game breaks down once we reach what is hidden inside
of our diapers. Clever euphemisms are used to describe our genitals and
we are, mysteriously, discouraged – sometimes vigorously – from
touching or becoming familiar with these delightful collections of soft
tissue. Yet babies and toddlers are frequently found absentmindedly tugging
or touching themselves below the waist and above the knees and they are
often just as frequently told not to do so. Many of us learn young that
our genitals are mysterious and powerful, to be feared and avoided, if not
actively reviled.
Nonetheless, masturbation is a normal part of sexual development and maturity.
Boys generally experience their first ejaculations between the ages of ten
and 13 years. In primates, when this normal part of sexual progress and
maturity is disrupted, the animal develops problems functioning sexually,
as compared to others allowed to engage in self-stimulation. The probability
that this also occurs in humans seems quite high, especially given the greater
complexity of social interactions in humans and the equally great importance
of emotional and sensual empathy in determining their success. Masturbation
is, after all, the body’s way of making sure that all systems are “go”
and providing the individual a venue for sexual rehearsal for partnered
sex. How then, did it become the bad boy of sexuality?
Masturbation has never had the smoothest of social rides but the modern
world certainly saw a radical rise in hostility against the peaceful form
of sexuality during the 18th century, when a concerted and organized movement
to suppress it began its rise to power. Initially condemned by the Puritans
for being non-procreative, the Victorians combated it on medical grounds,
claiming that it was exclusively an unhealthy, self-abusive preoccupation
of the morally degenerate or mentally ill. Books were written warning men
against the inevitability of disease caused by this wasting of their seed
and vital life energy. If continued for too long, masturbation was believed
to essentially castrate a man. Women, it was insisted, would never indulge
in such inappropriate behavior unless insane or required (and administered)
by a medical provider as a resolution to hysteria. Insane asylums were packed
with masturbators, and it was believed that the practice was “an almost
insuperable obstacle in the way of their recovery.” Such an opinion,
vigorously promoted by the medical profession, fueled public fears and spurred
efforts by parents to save their offspring from the scourge of masturbation.
The methods were often extreme and sometimes, especially by today’s
standards, cruelly abusive.
Penis harnesses were specially constructed to discourage and punish the
nighttime erections of young boys and men. The 1894 – 5 edition of
International Medicine reported the ongoing efforts of a doctor to stop
the masturbation of a young female patient. First he cauterized her clitoris.
When that failed to end the behavior, he infibulated the area with silver
wire. After she worked the wire loose, he surgically removed the offending
clitoris. Documents exist dated as late as 1897 relating the application
of the ultimate cure to male masturbation: castration.
Today the medical community has a profoundly different take on masturbation,
although it is still politically incorrect to promote it too vigorously.
Surgeon General of the U.S. Dr. Joycelyn Elders discovered this to be true
in 1995 when she was fired from her position for recommending that masturbation
should be discussed as part of human sexuality education. Religious objections
aside, masturbation is gaining acceptance as a healthy way to prepare for
couple sex, safely experiment with various sensual methods and erotic sensations,
relieve stress, gain familiarity with one’s own body, avoid spreading
of contracting STD’s, and help control population growth. Some sex
therapists have even used it successfully as part of substance abuse programs,
encouraging patients to transfer their desire for pleasure stimulus into
a healthy activity that has the capacity to ultimately lead to increased
intimacy. Women with limited luck achieving orgasm through partnered sex
are often able to increase their capacity for solo and shared pleasure by
allowing themselves to explore self-loving.
Both men and women are overcoming the archaic guilt and shame needlessly
associated with the natural urge for solo sex. In fact, many are integrating
it into their lives both as an important part of their private sexual time,
as well as their life of shared sensuality |
