As a young adult, it did not even occur to me that women masturbated.  As far as I was aware, this was something that only men did.  It wasn’t until I had one of those late-night-slightly-drunken conversations with a girlfriend, that I was able to discover that women too could bring pleasure to themselves.  Still, I had no idea where to begin, so the discussion continued, and I was sent home with an assignment.  I was to figure out how to make myself cum and was given a list of instructions and hastily scratched out diagrams.  Water, she suggested might help.

As it turned out, I did not have one of those adjustable shower heads, so I tried to position myself accordingly under the tub faucet.  After a ridiculous amount of turbulent splashing and flailing, I gave up on the water technique.  At least I was clean!  I headed off to bed, stripped off my clothes, and tried to think stimulating thoughts (I had no access to porn of any sort at the time). 

I felt like I laid their forever exploring, circulating, and experimenting with a towel under my body before I finally reached climax.  Once I did, I wondered if I could do it again. I could, multiple times.  Alas, I had discovered a new hobby!

I realized at once that the climaxes that I had experienced on my own far exceeded any feelings I had with the guys I had slept with.  Now that I understood what I wanted, I could help my partners to touch me in the right way, or just simply touch myself during intercourse… What a hit that turned out to be!

We all experience lulls in our sex lives, regardless if we are in or between relationships.  What a shame it would be if our libidos were to remain dormant during those periods of time, rendering us incredibly cranky.  No, that is not necessary at all, is it?  I believe that I have since mastered (pardon the pun) the skill and I have some thoughts and ideas to share!

Bring yourself to a place of calm.  Take a warm bath or have a glass of wine. Find some privacy for yourself by turning off the phone, locking the doors, and/or getting everyone out of the house.  Make yourself comfortable.  Try lying back with your legs bent and spread apart with your feet on the ground.  Remove your clothing ahead of time so that you don’t become overheated, hindered, or uncomfortable. Recall an exciting past sexual encounter or elaborate on a favorite sexual fantasy. If you need a boost, look at a sexy magazine, read an erotic story, or watch an adult video. Allow your mind to explore any images--anything goes as long as it heightens your excitement.

We tend to deduct rather quickly that it is more advantageous to start of slow and light with a varying kind of touch to start to “tease” ourselves.  At this time it is best to just relax and enjoy, offering a few moments to clear your head of any noise or useless thoughts.  I like to consider this the meditation phase.  Once we become good and wet and swollen, we can start to pick up the pace a bit as we begin to stick with the movements that bring us the most excitement.  There is no one to impress.  Love who you are and love your body.  Touch yourself in the many places that turn you on, possibly ascertaining different spots and techniques that are stimulating.  Use a range of speeds and force to carry out your own ecstasy again and again.

Run your hands along parts of your body, lingering along areas that are more responsive to touch than others. Look at your genitals in a mirror (especially if you're unfamiliar with them) and caress the different parts to see what feels especially good. Find and touch your inner and outer labia, your clitoris, your vagina and your perineum. Using one or two fingers, rhythmically stroke the different parts of your vulva, paying particular attention to your clitoris and labia. Experiment with different types of pressure, speed and motion. Try placing a finger on either side of the clitoris and stroking up and down, or placing two fingers on the clitoral hood and rubbing in a circular motion.  Try different types of touch: stroke, tickle, knead, pinch, or lightly pull your genitals. Try using one or several fingers, the palm of your hand, even your knuckles.

Not only can toys speed up the process and intensify the orgasm, they also bring a sense of variety to your personal escapades.  We do not want sex to be the same all the time with ourselves as much as we prefer to have a little more spice with others! For many people, especially women, who never or rarely experience orgasm, vibration can be the fastest and easiest way to discover their orgasmic potential.

There are many different types and sizes of toys to meet your own individual needs.  What is important is that you clean them well after every use to prevent any type of infection.  Some toys are even designed to bring into the bathtub with you!  Some feel just like the real thing, while others feel “not so much” like the real thing.  You can purchase these magical instruments at the Sssh Toy Store on the Main Menu:

Learn to hold onto sexual excitement by building up and then reducing or temporarily stopping the stimulation. Pay attention to how your body is responding. It will tell you the particular stroke that feels best and when to pick up or slow down the tempo. Breathe nice and deep avoiding holding your breath. This will help you to release sexual energy, as opposed to fighting it. Rock your pelvis as you would during intercourse. Rhythmically clench and release your PC muscle (using a dildo for vaginal penetration can help).  Rest, switch hands, or use a vibrator is you begin to fatigue.  If you are having trouble getting over the hump, try altering you’re breathing, or focusing on a really hot fantasy. Give yourself extra stimulation: caress your nipples, or try also thrusting your other fingers or a dildo in and out of your vagina.
    
As you begin to orgasm, continue the stimulation through the orgasm. Lighten up on the stimulation during the first extremely sensitive moments but keep it going to enjoy those little pleasurable aftershocks. Your first orgasm may feel like a blip or a blast, but the more you practice, the more variety you will experience.  Do not get discouraged if at first you are not able to climax, or if you are less than impressed with your orgasm.  Like everything else… Practice makes perfect!