Okay, I know you see this headline in all those magazines at least once every couple of months. Are the answers ever really going to change? Well, think about it: every woman's experience is different, because she's been with different men and has her own likes and dislikes and preferences. Based on conversations I have had with various men and women here are some of my thoughts. I also searched the net for the most commonly agreed upon answers.
 
There seems to be some agreement that men do no think they have had that many great sexual partners, whereas most women think they are just fine in bed. Why should this perceptive gap exist? There are a lot of reasons for why men want women to be "better" in bed and why women can't always meet their expectations but we are going to get to the bottom of this!
 
For one thing, men don't usually have as much difficulty finding pleasure in their sexual experiences ( as opposed to women who may need specific kinds of stimulation to reach orgasm), and thus aren't as likely to make their demands known.

Based on cultural norms of times past which are still somewhat prevalent today (Good Girls Don't), women aren't expected to know how to "do" everything; so they often are somewhat passive or lacking in initiative. Also, women tend to be more focused on the quality of an overall relationship, and not as much on specific sexual skills they might develop.

Men are not as likely to communicate their desires (now there's a surprise!). And so if we don't know we aren't fulfilling their needs, they may become frustrated and even less likely to vocalize about it! For women who want to be sexually satisfied, we have had to find ways to verbally or non-verbally communicate with men so they know just what to do. But since men achieve orgasm more easily (usually) women may not feel the need to address their specific preferences.
 
It is also true that men are taught they need to focus on women's pleasure more than their own in order to be considered good lovers. Let's face it the female body is a bit less mysterious than a man's (we can see when they're aroused), so men have some pressure on them to learn the workings of a woman's body. But beyond the basics, women may not feel the need to explore the finer points of making love to a man, like how fast/slow does he like it, what are the most sensitive parts of his penis, does he like to have his other parts of his genitals area stimulated, are his nipples sensitive, does he enjoy being touched softly or roughly, etc.
 
You may be starting to wonder if you're as good in bed as you thought you were!
 
But don't worry: there are some  very basic and fundamental guidelines to becoming a more adept lover.
 
1. Be enthusiastic. You should look forward to giving pleasure as much as you do receiving it. Try to focus just on his pleasure the next time you make love and see what happens. Don't be too obvious about what you're doing: just decide you are going to pay close attention to his responses and see how many ways you can find to make him moan and squirm!
 
2. Be willing to expend some effort. Your man's preferred ways of receiving pleasure might involve a position you are unfamiliar with or an activity you do not feel experienced with. But making that effort will yield some wonderful results when you find the surefire methods of making your man reach sexual nirvana.    
 
3. Be open-minded and willing to talk about things. You can have this conversation before you hit the bedroom. Start off with something like "I was reading this article on men's sexual pleasure the other day. I was wondering if there is something you would like to try that we haven't yet, because I want you to have as satisfying an experience as possible." This is not to necessarily open the door for his wildest fantasy: be clear that you want to improve your basic physical lovemaking skills and satisfy him better. And be clear you mean you an him only, otherwise he may think this is the go-ahead to have the "threeway" conversation! (But that may be something you will want to consider, too.)
 
4. Be flexible and available. Maybe your man wants to have sex at a time of day or night you are not used to, or in a different location. Be willing to experiment.
 
5. Be daring. Understand that getting to know your man's body more intimately can be a very powerful and satisfying experience for you, too. If you are squeamish about certain activities (like oral or anal sex), do some reading and research and familiarize yourself with others' experiences or sex tips.
    
Men need to be part of this process. Urge them to show you what they mean when they say "I need more direct pressure there." If he seems to have a fantasy he wants help enacting, get him to talk it over with you so you can give it some thought and agree on whether you want to fulfil this for him. Make sure you don't agree to anything you feel uncomfortable about, but also be open to considering or trying something new.
 
Also, let your man know that hearing him vocalize (if not verbalize) his pleasure is not only helpful to you but also very exciting! I think there is nothing sexier than hearing a man whisper, moan and whimper when he is feeling pleasure from what I am doing, but many men take on a stoic, silent demeanor when it comes to making noise during sex. We need to encourage men to make some noise!
 
Your man will feel extra loved and desired if he knows you are making this special effort on his behalf. But don't make a big deal about how generous you are being in looking out for his pleasure; you are doing this because you care about him and because you want to make your sex life more exciting and fulfilling for both of you. Like the good deed done in secret, making your man sexually fulfilled is something that can be achieved without a lot of fanfare, but hopefully with plenty of satisfied sighs...