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Every once in a while, I will notice different sorts of “trends” in this world, and I find myself wishing to explore, express, and share thoughts surrounding these trends. The latest trend that has haunted me as of late has to do with how women, regardless of there strength and/or overall success in life, seem to always possess a kind of emptiness inside. Why is that?
Could it be because women are somehow in the position to please everyone and anyone? We are pleasing husbands, partners, children, family members, employers, colleagues, friends, and most difficulty, living up to our own expectations. Our partners we need to fix, our friends we need to help, our families we need to tend to, workmates we need to satisfy, and in terms of ourselves, we need to measure up to some standard that we or society has created. We seem to have this inherent need to strive to be our absolute best. We reach for perfection, and when we do not achieve as much, we feel as though we are not complete
Could it be how women are viewed? We are just into the year 2008, and society still views and treats women as lesser beings. Statistically, men are still getting paid more, holding most of the “leadership” roles, and many males and females have trouble dealing with strong and independent females. Such a creature is labeled to be pushy or simply “a bitch”, or perhaps a troublemaker. As Hillary Clinton runs for President of the United States, her male competitors love to try to point out what they call her “severe lack of experience”. Whom do they think really ran the country while her husband was in office?
Could it be that our expectations are too high? Because we are to driven to “out-do” the male race in order to be considered at least “equal”, we set high expectations for ourselves. We give 200% nearly all of the time, and we get unbelievably frustrated when we see someone giving a painful 50-80% (complaining all the while). How can they stand it? If we try to relax, rest, or sleep late, we feel guilty because there is always something incredibly important that we should be doing.
Could the media have something to do with it? Whether we like it or not, the media has become a hugely powerful force in the molding of minds of all who perceive. The cinema and television show us that we are supposed to be beautifully sculpted, meticulously groomed, smiley, intelligent, witty, and capable in every way. Men can be fat, lazy, mean, or stupid, and that just makes them funny or adorable! Check out the women on CSI and other “cop” shows. They are gorgeous and wearing shirts that cause their cleavage to pour out while they are examining a dead guy. How about some of the couples on sitcoms, beginning with the Honeymooners, and moving through the years to the King of Queens? How did that happen? Beautiful women with hugely overweight dumb guys! If we achieve the status of perfection, is this what we deserve?
It could be that we have allowed a collection of these things to impact how we feel about ourselves or how we feel in general. We need to let go of feeling bad because we cannot lose the weight we feel we should, or accomplish everything we want to, or say/do the exact right thing every time. We will continue to do our best, but perhaps we could find a way to find some satisfaction in the fact that we are doing our best. Throughout our lifetime, we are a work in progress. Pay attention to and celebrate our small achievements. Appreciate the adjustments we make to strengthen our character. And finally, allow the small bits of success and goodness that we can get a hold of to fill the emptiness that looms inside. As Bruce Lee says, be water, never the cup. Water is never empty, only the cup.