 |
Recent TV crime shows have featured an increasingly-familiar storyline: a rape victim identifies her attacker and he is acquitted of the crime because medical testimony proves he was asleep during the attack. This plot is not pure fantasy but drawn from actual news headlines. A number of men in Europe and Canada have been forgiven crimes of sexual assault because they suffer from a somewhat rare disorder that is a cross between sleepwalking and nocturnal emissions (or wet dreams).
The "Journal of Canadian Psychiatry" reported that this phenomenon is increasingly recognizable and dubbed it ?sexomnia.? It is actually a form of what sleep specialists call ?parasomnia?which refers to a condition where patients engage in a number of behaviors while sound asleep, most commonly eating, talking or walking. Despite the dramatic and controversial notion that it can be used as an excuse for assault, the most common problem stemming from this condition occurs among couples. It is also called ?sleep sex.?
Men who suffer from this disorder initiate sexual behavior in their sleep. This behavior can range from kissing to fondling to masturbation to attempted or actual intercourse. There are some reports that some women also suffer from sexomnia, but it is much less common among women. Women tend to engage in masturbatory behavior, to moan or to caress their partners in sleep. Because men tend to be physically stronger than women, there is concern that sexomnia can lead to unintentional harm or trauma among couples.
Partners who have been interviewed or studied (as in the Canadian research study which began as a study of sleep disorders) have a range of responses and coping behaviors. Some take it in stride and maintain a sense of humor; but some women claim their men sometimes get uncharacteristically aggressive or hurt them without knowing it. Men who suffer from sexomnia are understandably upset when they hear they try to harm others involuntarily, and so this disorder tends to go unreported to doctors.
Dr. Michael Silber of the Mayo Clinic has stated that this phenomenon has serious legal and medical implications and deserves closer study. But because patients tend to be embarrassed about suffering from this disorder it may be difficult to find out how common it is. A number of Internet surveys have found willing respondents but for research purposes this data is not very useful. There are now support groups available on line, and one of the most popular ones, www.sleepsex.org, provides articles and information as well as discussion forums and networking resources. There are also documentary films and television talk shows starting to explore this issue. Dr. Michael Mangan, founder of the sleepsex.org website, has also written a book called "Sleepsex: Uncovered" which is available on Amazon.com.
If you think your partner may suffer from sexomnia, there are a few clues to tell you it's genuine. Does he have absolutely no recollection of sex the next morning? (Sometimes when men have been drinking or taking drugs they may have a memory lapse of this). Does he behave differently during sleep sex episodes than when he has sex with you when he's awake? Examples include increased aggression, saying unusual things, or in some cases, increased affection and tenderness, and a tendency to initiate behaviors that are unusual or uncommon for him. If you suspect your man has this problem, don't hesitate to have him make an appointment with his doctor or a sleep specialist.