All of us have heard men saying that women talk too much, but not in during the throws of passion.  Yes girls, this is the time that your man would actually like to hear what you have to say.  They love it when you talk dirty to them, and when you tell them what you want.  They also like to receive some reassurance from time to time.  So, this is not the time to be shy or reserved.  Express yourself, get vocal, and drive him wild!

Are you at a loss for words?  Do some research.  Talk with your guy casually about some of the things that will turn him on, along with some of the things he really likes to hear during intimacy.  In addition, you could pick the brains of some of your male friends, or review some pornographic movies.  Those movies are geared toward what men like to see and hear.  Take some notes. 

I have done some research on this topic myself, and have also interviewed some men to discover what they like.  Most said that they really want their women to be verbal.  But one added that the occasional “silent” interlude could be exhilarating as well.  As much as these men wanted to have their women speak intimately, they were incredibly shy about telling me what they really wanted.  I coaxed them not to be bashful, by explaining that this was merely research, leaving them to chuckle a bit and finally open up to me.  I tried to talk with men at varying ages so that we could get a good consensus as men both begin, and journey through their sexual experiences as they age.  We will start with the youngest and move forward from there.

“Oh my God, are you serious? It is so hot when chicks talk in bed”, says Will at the ripe young age of twenty-one.  “I hate it when they just lay there and don’t say anything”.  Will likes the “connection” that he feels with his partners when they communicate and make eye contact.  He explains that it feels like he is really “with” that other person.  When women are quiet and still, he believes that they are not self-confidant, or they are not having a good time.  In those cases, he says that he tends to “finish things off quickly” to get it over with.  When there is communication and that “connection” he is looking for, he tries to make it last as long as he possibly can, or begin again as soon as possible.  “Just give me about ten minutes”, he says, “and I can be back in the saddle again”!

Nick (twenty-three) exclaims, “Talk to me baby”! “Tell it like it is”!  He likes his woman in control.  It drives him absolutely wild when a woman takes charge and tells him what to do in the bedroom, either softly or sternly.  Both styles really gets his blood boiling.  “That’s why I like the older girls, they know what they want and they are not afraid to get it.  Nothing is hotter than that”.  When Nick decides to take on the reigns himself, he likes to hear it when he is doing something “right”.  “Don’t keep it a secret, do you want this thing or not”, he says as he stands up and does a little hip dance.

Manny is thirty-five.  Like Will, he enjoys that “connection” that comes with sexual communication.  “She doesn’t even need to use words if she doesn’t want to”, “just make the yummy sounds”.  Ooh, ah, or oh are apparently some good solid reassuring sounds that truly mark satisfactory work.  “When I hear the right noises, I know that I should continue with what I am doing, if I get silence, I change things up a bit”.  “Actual talking is definitely more clear”, he further describes.  “There is nothing like hearing the words I want you inside me, to indicate absolute readiness”!

“Sometimes that silent sex can be totally erotic”, Chad compares.  “Usually I like them talking, to see where we stand.  But sometimes it is so hot to not even say a word to each other.   Just start removing clothes, caressing, kissing, and moving without a sound.  Using only eye contact.  Everything can be said with a look, a moan, or a touch”.  Chad likes his sex to be sometimes quiet, and sometimes loud and crazy.  He revels in variety!

Dave (forty-one) reports that the best time to receive compliments is during sex.  “Everybody loves a compliment.  There is never a better time for complimentary words than during intercourse”!  Hearing positive words about his performance, his body, his smell, or his voice, really makes him feel good, and as a result, makes him unbelievably hard.  The resulting hardness makes him feel even better about himself, and gives him the stamina to go on and on and on, if he can keep from “blowing it”, he says.  “It must have something to do with the endorphins”.  Powerful hormones those endorphins!

Keith is fifty-one, but I did not believe him until he showed me his license.  Keith is happy to share his intimate wishes.  “Say it! Say it”! He laughs and shouts.  “Most of the women I have ever been with have been good at expressing what they want and like while we are intimate.  If they don’t, I wondered what might be wrong with them”.  “There are certain words and tones that are more exciting than others.  There is a certain expression that shows comfort, readiness, acceptance, and a sly confidence within themselves.  The verbal piece fits into a significant overall presence that is enormously sexy.  They either have it or they don’t”.

So there you have it.  Generally, they like to hear what you’ve got to say.  Many of them also expressed that the delivery was equally as important.  You have to feel comfortable with it.  It can’t sound scripted.  “Oh, comma, I want that hard body pressed against me, period”.  Say it like you mean it, like you feel it.  If you are not usually a talker, start with a few words at a time.  A simple “that feels good”, or “I like that”, can be hugely effective.