Are You a Good Sexual Teacher?

One thing I have always enjoyed about sex is that every time you are with a new lover, it is an utterly unique experience. Sure, we may do the same things together I have done with other livers, but each guy’s personality makes things just a little bit (or sometimes a lot) different. One thing that differs from one encounter or relationship to the next is the level of skill and experience a man has. One thing that stands out is the difference between a man who has had lots of lovers that are one night stands or short term, from the man who has only been in a small number of long-term relationships (or only one). Men who have been serial monogamists may in fact be better in bed than guys who are real players who have been with dozens of women because they have had to learn how to keep the sex interesting over time. It is also true that some men need some help learning the little secrets that please each woman, since we are all very different: our rhythms, our preferences, our hang-ups and insecurities, our fantasies. Probably like me you occasionally find yourself in the role of teacher to a less-experienced man. How do you handle this pressure? Or is it more of a fun adventure to you? Take this quiz and see what your teaching style is!

1. You’re with a new lover and feel the need to knock his socks off with one of your patented moves. What are you most likely to do?
a. I give him an expert blowjob that starts off slow and ends up mind-blowingly intense.
b. I give him a massage that touches some little-known meridians with connections directly to the genitals and make him come without even touching his penis.
c. I get on top and impress him with my well-developed muscles developed through Kegel exercise, “grabbing” and releasing at opportune moments until he is begging for release.
d. I get up in sexy garb and role-play my way into his most desired fantasy.
e. I set the scene with candles, incense, music, food and wine, creating a luscious setting, and choose several choice positions from the Kama Sutra to try out on him.

2. What, to you, is the role of talking during sex?
a. Something to whisper in his ear while I’m getting him hot.
b. It’s a way to excite the mind-body connection and heighten the experience—I’ve been known to quote Shakespeare in bed!
c. It’s all about excitement, telling him what I want and getting him to tell me what he wants, the raunchier the better!
d. It’s way to add an imaginative dimension to sex; I like role-playing and creating a scenario to give us somewhere to go with it.
e. It’s a nice way to establish a connection, to make sure we are both enjoying it, to communicate if we need to, but mostly I enjoy the non-verbal sounds more than words!

3. Your favorite accoutrement in the bedroom is:
a. A fun sex toy.
b. A book of erotic poetry or photographs.
c. Plenty of lube, condoms, whatever supplies we need.
d. Sexy lingerie, maybe some restraints or a leather flail for some light discipline…
e. Chocolate, whipped cream, strawberries, champagne, edible massage oil, etc.

4. Your way of dealing with a guy who comes a bit too quickly for your tastes is:
a. Give him a quick hand-job and then, over the next hour, slowly get him hard again so we can go at it for an hour.
b. Try out some Tantric techniques or positions for prolonging orgasm.
c. Ask him what I can do to help with this, suggest trying something new.
d. Tell him he is not allowed to come until I say it’s okay!
e. Get him to try out something sensual, not sexual (like massage or a bath), and shift his focus from the goal-oriented, singular experience of orgasm to enjoying the whole process.

5. What do you do if a guy is just not doing something right?
a. Gently place his hand (or whatever) in the right place and whisper the appropriate word (like “faster” or “not so hard”).
b. Gently suggest you take a break and demonstrate for him the way you want to be touched; let him watch!
c. Tell him exactly what he should do, and show him as well, and give encouraging feedback when he gets it right.
d. Tell him you need him to do it differently, and wait until he gets it right to respond positively.
e. Switch positions and try something different, then go back to what you were doing while saying “Can you try it this way now?” and explaining what you want.

6. How do you let your partner know he has satisfied you?
a. My moans and screams should give him the idea!
b. I like to tell him afterwards how it made me feel.
c. I give him non-verbal cues when I am getting close, encouraging him.
d. I like to be very direct and tell him when I’m about to come so he can focus on me.
e. Usually I can tell if he is aware, but I will reassure him if he seems unsure. I don’t fake it but if I don’t come I let him know part of my pleasure comes from experiencing his orgasm—this usually gets him to try again!

If your answers were mostly:

	A. you are a SEDUCTRESS. Confident in your abilities you like to take a man in hand and show him what’s what, while letting him think he is the greatest lover you’ve ever had. You like for sex to be fairly intuitive; but don’t forget some communication can help some men feel more confident.

	B. you are a RENAISSANCE WOMAN. Learned in many aspects of lovemaking you like to utilize unusual or unexpected ways to give and receive pleasure. Just don’t neglect exploring the appeal of raw, spontaneous lovemaking!

	C. you are a MENTOR. You like to make sure your sex life is safe and pleasurable, and don’t mind being clinical or very explicit with what works or what doesn’t. Careful with this approach as some men may find it a wee bit too assertive or intimidating! Be sure to relish the mystery and humor of sex, too.

	D. you are a DOMINATRIX. You like to be in control and want your lovers to be focused on your experience. Some men love this but aren’t sure how to ask for it, so you may find your style works really well for you, but be aware some guys still like to take the lead…

	E. you are a SENSUALIST. You are all about the entire experience, not just the sprint towards orgasm. Your lovers will probably really appreciate your finely-honed attention to details. But not every encounter has to be a masterpiece of ambience. It is okay to just have a real fast and furious fuck once in a while, too though!

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