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Flirting with Fashion |
At the moment, the pages of Vogue tell us the current style for day and evening is lush and lavish and romantic and full of details, mixing patterns and textures and shapes for a playful, almost Byzantine look. But what is you like a simpler look? What if those cropped pants with high heels look silly on you? What if the paisley velvet jacket covered with rhinestone brooches over a tight tweed miniskirt make you feel a bit too self-conscious? Contemporary fashion is pretty postmodern in its influences–that is, it's a pastiche of many styles and influences from previous eras. One interesting trend in recent years is the idea that there is no one way to do anything, such as hemline length or jacket silhouette–designer collections reflect a variety of approaches, for women who like their clothing classic and functional, or glamourous and exotic. But one thing we've seen a lot of, every year for the last decade and a half, is a return to romance.
The floral prints and ruffles of Dolce and Gabbana, the rich silk and velvet textures of Karen Millen, Ralph Lauren's feminine "English country weekend" garb, Marc Jacobs and his Bohemian, sexy fabrics and shapes. But what if you're not built like a fashion model? Heck, let's admit it, very few women are six feet tall and a size four (or smaller). If you're like me, you love to look at the amazing photography in these magazines and then fantasize about being tall and slender with high cheekbones and perfect skin. But you also love the clothes and want to figure out to achieve these sumptuous looks. The key to looking like yourself, but also looking unique, is to only borrow what works from the dictates of fashion–and that means what works for you.
Although some us experiment with our clothing and wear lots of different styles, most of stick with a few tried-and-true looks that fit our body type, lifestyle and budgets. Have you ever seen a woman trying to "pull off" a fashion trend that is simply wrong for her? Have you ever wondered if you're one of those women? It's one thing to be nervous about a look that's a bit more adventurous than what you're used to, but it's quite another to simply feel uncomfortable. Only you know what your comfort zone is, and this may vary according to the situation: that sequined midnight-blue mini might be great for a New Year's Eve party with friends, but for a first date, might make you feel like you're, well, trying a bit too hard. A lacy camisole and long ruffled skirt is fine for a beach party or brunch date, but too casual for a dinner party. That classy grey pinstripe suit might look very stylish at the office, but for a cocktail party might make you look like you've just left a business meeting.
But wait–what if you actually did just leave a business meeting and have a cocktail party to attend? There's no reason to fret too long over this situation. Be flexible and creative. One solution is to wear a demure silk camisole under your blouse and then just remove the blouse and wear your jacket over the camisole (or leave the jacket off) for the party. Or if pairing underwear with a suit would feel inappropriate and Seinfeldian to you, then wearing a nice knit t-shirt in a feminine color would also work, and you could add a colorful scarf or interesting piece of jewelry to it. For black, grey or charcoal suits, try a shirt underneath in a shade of rose, lavender, or pale green–or, a black silk satin tank or blouse with a bold piece of silver jewelry (a pendant on a black ribbon choker, or a wide wrist bangle) for a sexy look. If the suit is khaki or brown, wear peach, ivory or pale green. Navy blue can be made to seem more feminine if you pair it with ivory, pale yellow, peach, spring green, medium rose or soft orange–but pale pink might look kind of preppy.
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What Color is Your Pair of Shoes? |
We are surrounded with color everywhere we look, but we may not be aware that color can have a real effect upon us. There is an intriguing psychology to color that has been tested in many experiments and research studies, which have concluded that humans experience specific emotions directly related tot he color of the room they're in, or the color of the outfit worn by someone they meet. Many of us find blue peaceful, and green to be welcoming, for example, while red is exciting and bright yellow can make us uncomfortable (although pale yellow can cheer us up when we're down). Color is actually really key in choosing clothes that flatter your individual skin coloring and style. Maybe you've already memorized the tips in those books that assign the four seasons to different facial and hair colors. We always want to look our best but sometimes we don't have time to polish ourselves before we face the world. Wearing a flattering color is an excellent shortcut to looking your best, just in case you meet up with that special someone, who won't notice your unwashed hair pulled into a casual ponytail because they're too busy being knocked out by how that sage green tank top brings out the grey glints in your eyes and the rosy hue of your cheeks. The colors that are said to be sacred to Aphrodite are pink, pale green and pale blue–these colors also tend to make most women look very feminine and sexy, so try out various shades in these color families to find the ones that work on you.
Beyond the colors that look good on you, there are also colors that make you feel a certain way. We may gravitate towards brighter colors when we're in an excited or sexual mood, or maybe we want to wear more muted, subtle colors on a more thoughtful day. Maybe you're a "winter" and are supposed to wear bright jewel tones like red, aqua, violet and magenta. But what if you want to wear a light pastel color more suitable for a "summer?" Just make sure you hold the fabric up to your face in natural light and see how your skin tone looks. Does your face suddenly look pale, or yellowish, or too pink? Then maybe you can wear the item, but you have to put one of your "safe" colors next to your face, like with a scarf, jacket or shawl. Don't forget winter hats and scarves, too–buy these in colors that flatter your face and hair.
People tend to respond almost instantaneously to color, much more so than to the cut of your jacket or the length of your skirt–so experiment with different colors to find what works. And be bold and dramatic when you can. Redheads, for example will rarely wear pink or red because they think it will look garish, but carefully-chosen shades can create a vibrant and appealing contrast to red, orange or auburn hair. Likewise, brunettes may choose not to wear brown, because it makes their skin look sallow, but some shades of brown can really bring out your skin tones. You can also layer brown with greens or blues (so, a chocolate-brown jacket and trousers with a moss green shirt, or a taupe skirt with a sky blue sweater) to bring out the color of your hair, because this creates an optical contrast that draws the eye towards these opposing colors, that will make people notice your hair. If you have darker skin, you may shy away from cool colors like blue or green, but if you wear clear, vibrant shades like turquoise, indigo or kelly green, these will be far more flattering than muted or pastel shades.
Once you start trying to flatter your skin tones with the colors you wear you'll find even so-called neutral colors like black, white and grey have subtle gradations of tone or hue that can really affect the way you look. For most women, bright white is too harsh to wear next tot he face, and they look better in soft shades of ivory or off-white, or, for darker skinned or olive-skinned women, cream. Black fabric can be shaded with blue, brown or green tones that can look very different from each other in certain light. Greys can be warm (with brown or yellow tones) or cool (with blue or violet tones), so be sure to select your grey clothing carefully, because this color can be either very flattering, bringing out rosy cheeks or blue eyes, or very dulling (making you look sallow and sick). Remember, you can wear almost any color clothing if you place some item near your face in a flattering color, even a piece of jewelry or hair ornament.
Some women also color-coordinate their make-up to their clothing and this can also make a difference–for example, you might wear a brown shade of lipstick with an olive green top, but that same lipstick color with a black sweater may look washed out, so you switch to a berry shade. There is one color that literally looks good on all women regardless of their skin tone, and that is, believe it or not, pink. But not all pinks are created equal, and there is a wide range of colors in this family, so choose the one that works for you. Brunettes look good in most pinks, but ivory-skinned gals need to be careful with peach tones that have too much yellow in them–if you have blue or green eyes, you should stick with "blue" tones like lavender and rose. Blondes can wear paler pinks but hot magenta might be too overwhelming. Olive or brown-skinned women can wear rose and peach or all hues, but pale pink might wash you out, and blue-toned pinks might not be as flattering as warmer colors.What if you want to wear a color that just doesn't work on you? Try including these colors in accessories, like bags, shoes or belts. Bright patches of color can really perk up a neutral toned outfit, so go ahead and wear that red belt or those purple boots!
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Accessorize, Accessorize, Accessorize! |
The key to looking what fashion consultants call "pulled together" is to learn how to accessorize and create a balanced look. If you overdo this, you look "fussy." If you don't accessorize enough, you just look plain. Accessories are not just jewelry and shoes and hats and handbags–it's also the different clothing pieces that go together to make an outfit. Men wear suits, so all they worry about is ties and shirts that don't clash–mind you, some of them have to be carefully instructed in these matters. And for casual wear, well, a nice light blue cotton-ramie sweater and some black jeans and they're done. For whatever reason, women are expected to shift their look like chameleons for every occasion. And sometimes we just don't know until we get there what kind of an event we're getting all gussied up for. Just what is worse, being overdressed (the red satin evening gown at the backyard wedding reception) or underdressed (chinos and a sweater set for an awards banquet) for an occasion? Of course, we're all confident women who don't let such things worry us, but it's not a bad idea to try and dress in a way that will be appropriate even if the unexpected occurs.
Let's say you want to wear some dark blue jeans out to a club (assuming their dress code allows jeans). It's important to pair them with some feminine, dressier items to downplay the casualness of denim. Try a tailored jacket in a good fabric, either a cropped length, or one of the long Edwardian lengths if you're sensitive about your bottom half (and let's face it, some of us are). But don't wear baggy, shapeless clothes in the evening–wear shapes tailored to flatter your body and show off what's good: your curvy waistline, your pert breasts, your shapely shoulders. And try for a bit of sophistication to go with those jeans. What about a sheer white blouse over a black lace tank, with a black wool vest or long black cardigan? Or how about a soft-knit merino wool sweater in a subtle, sexy color that brings out your eyes, like dove grey or lilac? Silk shimmers and catches the light when it moves, especially satin and charmeuse silks, so this is a nice choice at night. And don't be afraid to show some skin. A subtle application of shimmer dust in the right place (on your breastbone, or shoulders, or a bit at the temples) can add a touch of mystery, but leave the real flamboyant body glitter for the teenagers. Jewelry should not overpower your look, but should enhance it. Chokers are sexy, and one chain looks better then several. If you want to wear a lot of one piece, say, three rings on one hand or an armful of Mexican silver bangles, or an elaborate watch, or a rhinestone brooch that will glitter under the colored lights, then choose one of these, not all of them! Less is more.
Shoes completely alter your silhouette and a medium-height heel with jeans looks great. So do cowboy boots, or engineer boots, but shine them up if they're scuffed–once you're out of college, scruffy shoes and evening wear (even evening jeans)just don't cut it. Chunky shoes like Doc Martens can actually look very sexy on some women, especially those who have short legs or small feet, because they balance your look and add some proportion. And always wear shoes you can walk in comfortably–practice in them at home if you need to! Do you want to be remembered as the woman at the party who was mincing her steps or refusing to dance because her feet hurt?
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Do I Look Fat/Thin/Perfect in This? |
Very few of us think our bodies are perfect. But I'd be willing to bet a shopping spree at Bebe that most of us think we don't look good enough when actually we look just fine, great, even! There is an extreme cult of perfectionism in the western world because of our obsession with movie stars and models and athletes. Look, it's their job to be skinny and buff! Let us regular people be happy with being healthy and fit and sexy in our own skin. One way to get more comfortable with your own body is to let yourself be nude more often. Catch a glimpse of yourself in the hall mirror as you clean the house au naturel. Check out your limbs as your stretch out on the sofa after your shower but before you get dressed. Your body holds you up and gets you around and helps you work and play and feel pleasure every day–so treat it well! And dress like you deserve to look great. That begins by figuring out what looks good on you.
We already talked about color, but the most flattering colors won't do you justice if you're wearing a cut or style that's wrong for you. The most important thing is to not worry about how someone else (a model, a mannequin, your best friend, Kate Moss) looks in something–but to ask yourself if you look good in it. Hey, we can't all wear hip-hugger jeans successfully(very few women look good in these, truth be told, and I am so thankful their trendy appeal has finally waned). Some women look great in those long, flowing skirts–but if you are neither slender nor tall, they might look overwhelming on you. Miniskirts are sexy, but if you have knobbly knees or chubby thighs, you might want to consider the length and style carefully. Maybe you should get one that is slightly-flared, or that is a few inches longer, or one in a comfortable fabric that won't ride up on you. One thing some women seem to ignore (you've seen their photos in Glamour in the Don'ts section with black bars over their faces) is that clothing really needs to fit properly to look good. Sizing is very inconsistent in women's clothing, and even clothes from the same company or designer may be inconsistent. In other words, just because you think you wear a size seven, doesn't mean it's not okay to get those velvet pants in a size nine, if that's what actually fits better.
Do you know what sorts of lines look most flattering on you? Don't be afraid to look at yourself from every angle before buying something. Try to find dressing rooms with rear-view mirrors. Or bring a trusted friend along for advice. There are certain tricks which seem to work for certain body types. Short women look better in less fussy, simpler lines. They should also go for skirts just-above the knee or shorter, rather than long or 3/4 length. Long jackets can make short women look like leprechauns, so be sure to balance them with large chunky shoes and straight-legged or wide (never tapered) trouser legs. Curvy women look better in clothes that actually accentuate their shape, as opposed to boxy or baggy shapes that cover them up. If you want to wear a long jacket or cardigan, be sure to wear a waist-defining belt or sash. Women with narrow or straight hips look good in long, lean lines that accentuate their streamlined shape, and can often wear those designer looks many women can't get away with. If you're busty, don't wear a complicated jacket–go with simple, tailored lines. Small-breasted women can add a more feminine silhouette with ruffles, lace, curved necklines or scallop-edged collars or jackets. Scared of prints? Good, because most of us don't look good in them. Large florals look better in skirts or scarves than in blouses or dresses–small prints are best for small items like scarves or shawls. One piece of clothing in a print can go a long way–but don't be afraid to occasionally wear those leopard-print leggings, or carry that tartan handbag! One funky, stylish piece can pull together an entire outfit if the feel is right.
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Sex and the City, or, How to Make Sure No One Will Flirt with You, Ever |
I live in a Northeast American city where people's modes of dress are surprisingly conservative, considering the place is full of colleges and many European ex-patriates. Every time I see a woman heading to or from work in a dull little navy blue suit with a white blouse (maybe with a subtle red pinstripe in it) and nude stockings and running shoes (because she doesn't want to walk in her "dress shoes" she wears at the office, I want to scream. This look is just so banal and boring, it's heartbreaking when an otherwise attractive woman does it. I understand some women have to wear suits to work, and maybe don't want to spend half their waking lives (not to mention half their paychecks) worrying about what to wear to work. But when we go out in the world, we should try to feel confident in how we look. And that means, it's okay to try and look sexy for a day at the office.
I'm talking, finding a low-heeled but attractive shoe that's comfortable enough for you to walk to and from the commuter train without looking like you're about to break into a sprint. I'm talking, finding a way to make that blue suit look like a woman is wearing it, and not some boy from prep school. I'm talking, dark sheer stockings or tights that create a clean line and don't scream "flesh tone" when people look at your legs. I'm talking, a paisley scarf around your neck that brings out the violet in your eyes. I'm talking, a little eye shadow, a nice feminine shade of lipstick, and maybe once in a while letting your hair out of that plastic clip that looks like an implement of torture from the Bakelite era. Loosen up, ladies, and don't be afraid to put your most feminine, Aphrodisian self forward every day of the week. But, well, maybe you'd better not wear that gold leather bustier to the office. |
