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First Things First: Clutter-Busting |
No need to go buy yourself a book on feng shui. I'll share the mist important rule right here: Get rid of clutter. This can be hard to do if you're a pack rat or naturally disorganized, but the more you do to eliminate old, unused items lying around, the better the flow of energy through your living space and the more likely you'll feel comfortable and energized while you're there. Feng shui discusses the concept of Chi–the vital energy that is the basis of life. This is not only true for living things but for the way energy flows through our living space full of inanimate objects–the way things are arranged, their textures and colors, can have a profound effect upon our well-being. Keeping clutter around for years depletes the flow of energy in your home and doesn't allow new energy (or luck or wealth or love) to flow in. So get rid of it! This goes for stacks of old newspapers in your basement, half-empty bottles of shampoo you know you're never going to use, exotic spices you bought once for some crazy Gourmet magazine recipe and that are probably past their freshness, the bed linens you used when you and your ex were still together, and clothes from two seasons ago that you will never wear again. Get rid of it! Give it to charity or recycle it if you can't bear throwing away useful items. Have a yard sale and make some extra bucks. The open but unused shampoo can be donated to a local homeless shelter or halfway house...or, use it for hand-washing clothes–it's much milder than commercial handwash stuff.
Whew! All that crap is gone and now your place looks empty. You don't have to worry about filling every room with furniture or other stuff in order to make it feel like a home and not a museum. Simple, inexpensive touches like plants and fabric can "fill out" a space very nicely. But before adding the "finishing touches" you need to do some assessing. How much space do you have? Are you in a tiny studio apartment, a decent-sized 2 bedroom, a split-level ranch, or a big Victorian rambler? You can make the most of your space by paying attention to small details that give a room character. Once you make some decisions about the kind of look and feel you want, you can start from the group up to recreate a whole new look. And don't worry about expensive trips to Home Depot for scary tools–all these tips are easy and inexpensive.
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Am I Blue? Or Cobalt? |
The very best, and in many ways the easiest, way to liven up a room is to paint it. Color is a powerful force on our emotions and everyday well-being, so we should choose the colors in our living space carefully, every bit as carefully as we choose an outfit for the way it flatters our eyes or skin tone. The only difference here is we are not limited by our physicality, but by our aesthetic preferences and prejudices. If you're a renter, most likely every wall in your home is white or some shade of off-white (vanilla, ivory, cream, etc.), and if you own your home, chances are you have more than your share of white walls. Why do we do this? I have nothing against white, but it's boring. The old adages "it looks clean" or "it makes a room look bigger" just aren't true. So if you want life in your living space, paint it. (Make sure you get permission from your landlord–some of them will pay for the materials if you take care of the labor, and/or if you agree to repaint it white before you move out). If you're covering a dark color with a lighter one, you'll need to do at least two coats, maybe three. If dark over light, two should do it, but it really depends upon the paint. Now, I am not gonna teach you how to paint a room (if you don't know how, ask friends to help and make a party of it–or check out the "So You Wanna" site at www.soyouwanna.com and look for "paint a room"), but I am going to give you some tips on selecting paint and colors.
Paint can be expensive, particularly some of the new designer paints out there. Fine if you can afford them; Ralph Lauren paints are actually very nice and you can get textured colors that let you get gorgeous effects without using sponges or special techniques. But if you want something more affordable, at least get good advice from professionals (meaning, the guys at the hardware store–not the young ones–flirt with them if you must, but if you want good advice ask the older guys). The standard rule is, flat (matte finish) for walls, gloss (enamel) for trim; but you can mix this up if you like. Be aware that painting with a gloss finish will leave a wall surface that reflects light. One glossy wall with three matte-finish walls can look very nice. Some semi-gloss paints with names like "eggshell" or "velvet" are available so this is a nice compromise. Water-based (latex) paint is much easier to deal with than oil-based. Choosing colors is the fun part, but if you're going with something outrageous, it's a VERY good idea to buy a small amount (a pint) and do a test run. That way, if the color is not quite what you want you haven't spent a fortune and you can use the small amount for shelves or a door.
A little trick: some hardware stores that deal in paint sell "mistakes" for bargain prices. This is perfectly good paint that was mixed to match a color and, for whatever reason, came out slightly off from its intended shade (common in stores where the mixing is done by inexperienced workers in the automated color mixers). Or, the customer changed their minds. Either way, these stores are overjoyed when someone wants to buy these "mistakes" so they don't have to a) suffer a financial loss, or b) worry about storing or disposing of it. So, if you're willing to live a little and take a chance, you can get a nice hefty gallon of "Country Cottage Yellow" or "Dusty Persimmon" or "Mallard Blue" for about five bucks (as opposed the usual price of $20-30 or more). Usually the store will store these together near the paint display–they'll dab some of the color on the lid so you know what it is. If you don't see any, ask, because they might store it in another room. I love paint mistakes! I've gotten wonderful shades of green, gold, blue and purple that I've used as is, or mixed with white to create my own custom colors.
So, what colors to choose? This depends on a number of factors. You need to choose a color you can live with; but that doesn't mean it can't be a vibrant color. You'd be surprised how good it feels to be in a brightly-painted room on a daily basis, if the color is right for you. You should choose something that won't clash with your furniture; although this can be okay if you add some items that "bridge" the colors together, for example: if you want to paint your walls crimson and your sofa is powder blue, adding pillows in solid shades of crimson, rust and salmon can make the colors work together. You can also choose a print pattern for curtains, a footstool or a throw that accomplishes this, and sometimes even a framed art print accomplishes this purpose. So if you really want to show off that original Kandinsky full of yellow and red, or the framed museum print of Van Gogh's "Sunflowers", then give some thought to the wall it will hang on. If you feel nervous about your color sense, ask a friend whose taste you trust to help you out.
In feng shui, colors serve different purposes depending on their placement within the floor plan, and their connection to certain natural elements. If you want to do this scientifically (and proponents of feng shui do seem convinced their lives improve when they follow these principles), then go for it. One good book on the subject is A Western Guide to Feng Shui Room to Room. I'm going to go out on a limb and suggest that you choose colors that create a harmonious sense of balance in your home. That doesn't mean every room has to be baby blue. Nor do certain colors only belong in the bedroom, bath or kitchen; what if you painted the bedroom golden yellow, the bathroom tomato red, and the kitchen pistachio green with fuschia trim? (Ooh, I am excited just thinking about that last one.) Don't be afraid to have fun. One tip: the bedroom color is important to your sex life. Cooler colors like blues, greys and greens might have a "cooling" effect on your ardor or your partner's, so do yourself a favor and go with something warm and sensual: anything in the red, orange, yellow or brown family, the warmer and richer the better. What about mocha walls with dusty rose trim? Or carnation-pink walls with terra cotta trim? You needn't eliminate the cool colors entirely, but make sure they don't dominate. Blues and oranges work well together if you choose subtle shades (bright ones will clash because these colors are opposites on the color wheel). So a medium periwinkle blue (which is slightly lavender) paired with a warm peach will work better than cobalt with vermilion. Green works well for trim; try it with orange shades like persimmon or terra cotta, or blue-hued reds like scarlet or maroon. Hunter green seems to be an exception as this can have a warming effect when you paint your walls with it–try it in a medium shade with trims in dark colors like wine, rust or cocoa.
Dark or light? Darker colors add a sense of warmth and intimacy, while lighter colors can add a feeling of airy spaciousness. So–pastels for the bath and kitchen, deeper hues for the bedroom and living room? Sounds good. You should also consider the idea that what you are creating is a "color scheme" for your entire living area, and that you should choose colors knowing how one space or room will "flow into" the next. So if you want a pale lime hallway, make sure the cheery red of your kitchen isn't going to feel like a rude interruption. When in doubt, try to go easy on intense, saturated bright colors. Consider a Matisse painting: we think he used such bright vivid colors, and beginning art students wanting to emulate him assume that hsi palette must have come straight from the tube, but in actuality the painter worked very hard at mixing colors to get just the right shade. Medium blue is many colors: cornflower, cobalt, sky, slate, Wedgewood. Choose carefully. Swatches (those little cardboard paint color samplers you can take home) are your friend.
The latest craze in home painting is to do textural looks with sponges. This is not difficult and you can learn how by watching a simple demonstration. It is time-consuming, though so make sure you're up for it. This can really add a lush, rich look to a room because you can mix different colors and finishes together (like metallic with matte). It doesn't work as well if you have bold-patterned fabric on your furniture (like stripes or large florals) but for more subtle prints it can look very subtle and elegant.
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Texture: Can You Feel It? |
Once your rooms are painted and you've created a color palette you're happy with, you want to focus on the textures of your rooms. Texture means the surface and shape of things. A room can seem "hard" or "soft" or "round" or "jagged" depending on many factors, from what fabrics your furniture and drapes are made from, to the shapes of plants and ashtrays. One valuable principle of feng shui is that these surface elements need to be in balance–otherwise your room will give epople a vague sense of discomfort. Too "hard" and they won't want to stay there long; too "soft" and they'll feel disoriented after a while. If your furniture is all square hard edges, you need some rounded or organic shapes to balance that out. This can be done with round cushions, a throw with a random (not geometric) print on it (florals, spirals, etc.), curtains with scalloped edges or tied back to create a curved shape, or plants with free-form shapes. A small vase or sculpture can also help soften these hard edges. You may have the opposite problem; your furniture may be plush and poufy and your tables all round with curved legs. In that case, add some furnishings that add some straight lines: straight-hanging curtains, maybe with a subtle pinstripe pattern,, square cushions, a tree that has a straight trunk and uniformly-shaped foliage, or artwork with straight lines dominating. Think of your room like a drawing: you want the eye to "go" somewhere, and by creating a harmonious mixture of shapes and textures, you can lead your gaze throughout the room.
Textures refers to the traditional sense of the word, too: the materials your furnishings are made from. When possible try to go with natural materials: silk, cotton, leather, rayon and wool fabrics; wood, glass, ceramic and stone decor. Metal can look nice but don't allow any one element to dominate. Too many glass art objects will make people feel like they're going to break something. Too much stone will feel cold and heavy. If you have lots of wood furniture, offset this with some glass or metal. If you have a leather or suede sofa, add some feminine fabric like silk chiffon or a shimmery satin to mix it up.
The "Crate and Barrel/Pottery Barn/Pier One" look that was once though so unique is not so ubiquitous that you have to be careful or your living room will look like that of seven of your closest friends. Tip: Don't buy things that are displayed together, or sold next to each other. That's what everyone does, thinking they'll create an original "look" that way because it was thought up by the creative, funky store display designer! Well, ya know, all those guys and gals probably get guidance from corporate HQ, so if you want to be original you might have to show some initiative. If you get your candle-holders there, get your coffee table somewhere else, and vice versa. Colors can be oh-so-trendy too and the stores are counting on your slavish imitation so they can force you to change to the next fashionable colors next season. Just pick colors you like and don't let the retailers dictate what's in. They love to get your attention with bold color contrasts. If they mix peacock blue cushions with a burnt orange chenille throw, you'd best think of another color combo (like dusty plum with sage green–yum!). The "distressed" look is also still a big seller in furniture. This seems silly to me unless it is an actual antique, but I have to admit it all that verdigris and faux tarnishing looks nice sometimes.
You may note another trick employed by home furnishings stores: they add little details to make a place look "lived in," as in, this is a room people could live in, so they will be sure to buy every single thing on display here, from the hand-tooled leather ottoman to the hand-carved African ebony fruit bowl. No need to buy all this stuff, but they do have a point about that "lived-in" quality. Your living room should not look perfectly-arranged and off-limits. It should feel like you can occasionally put your feet up or eat a sandwich or rough-house with the dog without an alarm going off. If you have a romantic evening planned, you don't want anyone's amorous feelings squelched because they're nervous about rumpling the antimacassar. A good trick for adding a more human touch to a room is to people it with organic objects. That's living things, or things that until recently were living. Mostly we're talking plants, although animals are good, too. An aquarium, perhaps, or some pieces of coral or seashells. But plants are easy to decorate with, and as an added bonus they give off oxygen and thus cleanse the air. Many houseplants are very low maintenance, like jade plants, cacti and succulents, Swedish ivy, or a ficus tree. Be sure to mist them so they don't dry out. Talking to them seems to help. Honest–they love the extra carbon dioxide. And there's always fresh-cut flowers. Carnations and daisies are inexpensive and last a long time. Or, , for more variety, stop by your local florist at the end of the day and ask if they have any specials. Some flowers will do perfectly well on your table for a few days but may not be fresh enough for the shop to sell the next morning. So you'll get a nice price.
One way to add more organic energy to your space, in addition to plants or fresh flowers, is to have a bowl of fruit or other plant objects in a bowl. Real fruit only, please! Use something that keeps a long time: quinces and apples last a while and give off a pleasing fragrance. You can also display pine cones, acorns, horse chestnuts, dried flowers, or other natural objects like sand dollars, shells, or colorful pebbles. These items should not be left out for months at a time because their energy dissipates–old dried flowers in a vase gather dust and even if they still look fine they need to be replaced.
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Romance: Not Just Hearts and Flowers |
Okay, don't be scared I'm going to suggest your turn your abode into a pseudo-rustic Victorian showplace full of lace and chintz and pastel floral prints. The thing about this look is that in small doses it really does convey a sense of romance (some frosty seaglass fragments in a bowl here, some maroon silk drapes there, a carved folding screen over there), but when decorating magazines get a hold of this concept, they don't seem to know when to stop. Before you know it, everything is pink and lacy and looks like a candy box. So I'm going to share some very basic principles of this romantic look to allow you to add it in small amounts in ways to fit your style.
First: lace. This can be gorgeous or god-awful. Think of the difference between a black lace bra and a frilly white lace teddy and you get the idea. In general, I think antique lace or lace made from natural fibers is superior to nylon or polyester lace, unless the latter comes in a vibrant color or black. Black lace can be amazing if applied sparingly in your living space. A black lace scarf over a lampshade, or draped over a doorframe, hanging over a small window can add very sensual texture and shadows in a room. If you have some antique white lace textiles, like tablecloths, doilies, or runners, consider using them in unusual or unexpected ways. Priceless lace should not be used around food, but if they're less than perfect and you want to use them, then layering those round doilies in between serving plates at dinner can look great. To give life to some old curtains you love but are somewhat bored with, applique them with old lace hankies! (You can sew these onto old denim jeans and jackets, too). Or sew them onto pillows in a "crazy quilt" pattern. Okay, it's getting a bit Martha Stewart in here, but you get the idea. If you put a sheer red or pink scarf over a lampshade and then a layer of white lace over that, you can get some great patterns on the ceiling and walls. Old lace pieces can be salvaged for trim for most anything (curtains, sleeves, etc.), or can be dyed unusual colors and used with abandon.
Second: Florals. Again, this can be graceful or ghastly. Large florals can be dramatic or overpowering. Small florals can feel like a little talcum-powdered old lady lives here. Balance is key. Some of the new florals used in upholstery fabrics can be lovely, but ask yourself if you can really live with it for a while. Better to use it in smaller amounts, like in drapes, tablecloths, a framed art print featuring flowers (a Monet landscape, or one of the pre-Raphaelites' fantasy figures), or a strip of wallpaper trim. Floral patterns in the bathroom seem to work. Color is a consideration here. The most popular in recent years seem to be mostly variations on pink, green and white. Try something unexpected, like purple and yellow, or blue and green. I personally like fresh flowers best of all. They add life, color, fragrance and romance. Some flowers can even be grown very easily in your yard and provide cut flowers for vases, like hyacinths, lilacs, gladiolus, peonies and Gerber daisies.
Third: Cute Victorian postcard art. You know the type: big-eyed children in Victorian dress doing seasonally-appropriate things like sleigh-riding, apple-picking or bee-keeping. This kind of art can be draining on the psyche, since it is a constant reminder of an idealistic era forever lost and, in some cases, fun stuff you never got to do as a kid or, worse, a constant reminder of those children you haven't had yet. Do yourself a favor and stick with the landscapes–the Victorians did these really well. And the pre-Raphaelites work really well with this kind of aesthetic, because the subject matter was so fantastical and elegant. Waterhouse, Gabriel-Rosetti, Sargent, Bougereau, etc. with their nymphs, satyrs, dryads and assorted other figures with flawless skin and shimmering gowns and juicy foliage everywhere add a delicious touch of romance and mystery. Check out this website for some great hard-to-find prints: www.glastonburyromantics.co.uk,
or this one at www.pomegranate.com.
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Instant Romance |
Okay, some of you have decided that some of the advice in this article just takes too much work! So here are the tried and true ways to add some instant romantic energy to your living space until you have the time and energy to repaint or redecorate.
1. Fresh flowers. Nothing like these jewels of Mother Nature to freshen up a room. Try scented varieties like hyacinths, lilacs, or honeysuckle. Roses are nice but try an unusual color for variety (liek orange or pale lavender). Live near a vacant lot or outside the city limits? You might be able to score some free wildflowers, which add a romantic, freeform touch.
2. Candles. Ambient lighting that hides grey hair and softens lines, blemishes and wrinkles–a key ingredient to love everlasting. But young perfect people love the sense of mystery and danger they impart, that "What if the lights went out?" feeling. Never leave a lit candle unattended, I don't care if you're descended from Ben Franklin. If you use scented candles, try to get the ones using real essential oils. Real beeswax candles have a honey like fragrance. Vanilla gets old fast and brings on childlike deja-vu that may not be conducive to romance. And never buy a scent that does not occur in nature, i.e. "Desert Rain" or "Ocean Musk." L'Occitane sells nice expensive long-lasting ones with great scents like Vetiver, Cedar, Mandarin and Linden.
3. Incense. You could also use unscented candles and perfume the air with natural incense. Same rules here: no "Desert Rain:" allowed. L'Occitane also makes great incense made with 100% pure essential oils, in cone or stick form, and Airs still makes some natural ones, too. Also, most Japanese incense is made with natural ingredients and smells great. Artificially-scented incense can give everybody a headache and stinks besides. You can also get charcoal disks and burn pure resins like frankincense or myrrh on them like your neo-pagan friends do (you have at least one friend who is a neo-pagan, I guarantee it). This is a bit elaborate and you should do it well before your company arrives cuz it gets smoky and intense. But it's heavenly.
4. Colored lightbulbs/fairy lights. You can get pink lightbulbs most anywhere that sells light bulbs. You can often get other colors but these don't always impart a romantic mood (green, blue or yellow are not a good idea). Try red or orange. Or you could be really creative and get a few different ones and put them in several light fixtures and see how they mix. I have only seen this done once and it was pretty cool. Then there's fairy lights–what we call, at Christmas time, Christmas lights. Small twinkly lights you string along the wall and plug I for instant gentle lighting. Clear or multi-colored are best. Try wrapping them aroound your standing halogen lamp, or around a mirror frame, or instead of your fluorescent bathroom overheads. Not as dangerous as candles, every bit as effective.
5. Bubble bath for two. Forget the rest of your place–give the bathroom a good scrub and then invite your paramour into the tub with some scented bubbles and candles and soft music (no boomboxes near the tub please). Try www.lush.com for some delectable bubble bar slices made from all natural ingredients. (More tips on sensual bathing ideas in "Scents and Sensuality")
6. Sensual music. For Keith Partridge and Bo Derek, it was Bolero. Nowadays we have a vast array of oldies and new stuff to choose from. Find out what your partner likes, but if you haven't a clue, some timeless winners (oldest first) to try out on "random play" include: early Frank Sinatra, Billie Holiday, Sarah Vaughan, Duke Ellington, early Ella Fitzgerald, Peggy Lee, Ennio Morricone, Herb Alpert and the Tijuana Brass, James Brown, Barry White, Melissa Manchester, Jefferson Airplane, the Strawbs, John Renbourn, Nick Drake, Joni Mitchell, Bad Company, Van Morrison, Ten Thousand Maniacs, Suzanne Vega, Crowded House, David Bowie, the Cocteau Twins, Basque, Morphine, and K. D. Lang.
7. Comfy loungewear. Not itchy lace lingerie, not sweatpants, something in between. An Irish linen chemise, perhaps. A vintage silk kimono, maybe. Rayon jersey pyjama bottoms. A silk smoking jacket. Whatever feels comfortable and sexy and special to you. And pick something up for your partner to slip into, too.
And, when all else fails, a nice bottle of wine and some tasty take-out can also make things pretty darn cozy, too. |
