Dear Renee:

A while back, I tried anal sex with my ex-boyfriend, and I liked it a lot (I came several times in a row), however, the experience overall was not a good one - let's just say it was pretty "crappy" - and I freaked. I'm with my current boyfriend now, and just the thought of anal play turns me on. But I'm hesitant to bring it up with him, because I'm not sure about his feelings. Not only that, but I'm still pretty scared the same bad thing that happened before will happen again. Is there anything I can do that would make us both more comfortable with anal play and anal sex?

J. P. - TX

Dear J.P.:

The best way to find out if your current boyfriend is into anal sex is to ask him. If you're unsure how he feels and are afraid he may judge you for indulging in this activity before, just causally ask him - say "How do you feel about anal sex?" If he finds this disgusting then you either have to accept the fact that you won't be having anal sex with him or find someone else who does enjoy the activity.

As far as the "crappy" experience is concerned, there is nothing to freak out about because people usually have feces in the anal vault. Men can wear condoms to prevent having feces on their penises or you can just give yourself an enema before indulging in anal intercourse, or both. Whether or not you have anal intercourse, it is always important to practice safe sex, as even the best sex is not worth the risk of getting any sexually transmitted disease!

-Renee Christopher