Dear Amy,
How would I initiate a relationship with a guy I had a one night stand with?
Would he be put off by my forwardness? He did give me his number,
which suggests to me that he might be interested.
From PC
Amy Says!
Dear PC,
Giving you his phone number could mean he would like to hook up again but we all
know that's not always the case. If you are hesitant about taking the first step,
you should call him and let him know you enjoyed your evening together and for now,
leave it at that. Then call him again in a week or two, or if you just run into him
again somewhere, inquire about his dating scene is going. Take it slowly, and get his
opinion on relationships in general and go from there.
If you are absolutely sure this is ‘the guy' for your no strings relationship, make the
first call above, more assertive. While you have him on the phone, mention your idea of
wanting or having been thinking of a ‘sex buddy'. Ask has he ever had a sex buddy before?
Be very specific that you are not looking for an involved relationship, but you do enjoy an
active sex life. Doesn't he? Then close the deal by asking him if he would mind if you called
him again sometime for another round of great safe sex. Make light of it so if he is not interested
he has an easy out. You do not want to pressure him. A no string relationship should be to say
the least, easy-going.
Do not overreact if he says no. You may simply be more open minded than some. If you are fortunate
enough to have success in finding your sex buddy, follow the rules of no strings attached and do not
get possessive. You must respect each other's choice to begin and end your sex buddy relationship at
anytime.
You are certainly not alone in wanting a sex buddy for a no strings attached relationship.
Busy schedules and other priorities often do not leave the time or the energy for a full relationship.
Since you seem concerned about the forwardness of your proposal, you may not be completely comfortable
with the idea yourself. Make sure you have thought of any ground rules you may require for such a
relationship.
You must consider if this something you want to keep private? Will you require confidentiality,
desecration, etc.? Are you going to talk about your ‘outside' lives and share personal information?
You cannot give yourself to a sex buddy to get to know him better or in hopes of encouraging him to
want more of a relationship with you. You must be certain you can separate the two!
Amy Case
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